We worked a lot, so much in fact that we spent nights without sleep and countless hours working just to get everything done, that really weight down on us, some of us got depressed, others just became numb to everything in their sourroundings, some of us are still drawing down the effects of those months before the big day, the big month:
The month in which we will see how good we were making things, we would present our game to a really big audience for the first time, and I would be telling a big ass room full of people my experiences as a young entrepeneur, encourage them to do the same as I and follow their dreams, it was hard… really hard, I was really nervous, we were really nervous, forget about the talk in front of a crowd thing, that was kid stuff compared to everything that the team was doing, for the first time ever, the entire company, the entire game and the entire project would have a face, my face, our faces and for the first time ever, we would be judged.
We hold Beacon (The game we are developing) really close to our hearts, it’s our first child, we are really proud of it, and I, as the one who created the entire concept/story of the game and the one who directs the entire thing I’m responsible for it’s success or failure, I wanted this month to be the month in wich everyone in the team would smile and see that all of their work was worth it, in wich everyone who’s been doubting our competence, our talent and the project itself (if it’s worth it or if it’s even real) would be shut, and everyone who knew or didn’t even heard or care about us would be hyped, I don’t know how, but we maneged to do all of that.
Everything started at 9:00 am, it was a cold thursday morning, 7:00 am to be exact, I took out everything from the car and proceeded to arrange everything in our booth: tables, computers, screens, shirts, display stuff, everything, some of our team members came and started to help me out, then, I was told that I needed to get done with the booth so I can get ready for the questions that they were going to ask me,it was okay, the only thing missing was our teaser trailer, I sat down and opened my laptop to search it, my everything got fucked when I realize that the entire export of the teaser trailer was broken “It’s cool I thought I just need to export it again, big deal.” I opened premiere pro and realize: it was broken too, a corrupt file that took me 3 days to get done, well fuck it, I can download the back up from our servers, but, there was no internet available for us in the entire building, at this point I was holding back tears, there was no time to loose, they called me,I sat down where they told me to and the people began to enter the building a ton of people, they sat down, and I began to answer everything, for a moment I forgot about the teaser trailer problem, the questions ended, I hear clapping, I go to our booth, now filled with people, and in my way I find a lot of familiar faces that congratulated me and some unknown faces that did the same, we were reall happy, people were excited for our game, buying shirts and stickers like crazy, asking questions and so much more, but I needed to get back to work, I rushed to my house to get the teaser trailer back up, but everything was corrupted, I was crying and shaking but I would not be giving up, I made the entire thing that day and night, I didn’t sleep at all, the next morning the teaser was in our booth screens and it was a big success.
The Aftermath – November
Doing all of that made me think that we are not as good as I thought we were, I got paranoid and did what no indie game developer should do, I compared our game to other games, it became clear, we are really young, all of us between the ages 16 to 19, we can’t compete with all of those incredible AAA games nor with the best indie games out there, don’t get me wrong I believe in Beacon, I think it’s a really special game, it’s more than a game, it’s and experience that I’m trying (with my team) to craft, something that should be played from start to finish, something that will make you think about life and will get into your head long after you finish it, but I’m scared that people will not even give it a chance just because it doesnt look as good as Ori and the Blind forest, or plays as good as bloodborne, think about it, we are making a videogame with original hand drawn art, frame by frame animation, music (played with real instruments), programming (in Unity/C#), story, all of that in our free time, with our own money, after school and in the nights that sleep depravation don’t force us to sleep, it is a miracle that we are where we are, and yet, people will not value those sacrifices that we are making and all the hard work we are doing, that’s life I guess, still, I cried when we uploaded the teaser trailer to youtube, and I will cry when we put the game in Steam Greenlight and when it gets approved/rejected and of course when it sells big or fails selling, I dont care at this point, my family it’s getting tired of me not winning money and “wasting my time” with all of this work we are making, our friends are loosing interest, and so on… so on… despite that, I trust in Beacon, I know it’s a good game, a good product and that it will be and incredible experience, and I will work on it to dead, until all of you can experience it for yourself, The team, Sheldrybox, and I will follow the light.
Traducción al español pendiente 🙁